I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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