i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
