It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
