I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
