so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
