you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
