you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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