apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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