I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
