i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
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Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
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I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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