How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
