I didn't shave. On purpose
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
