Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
