So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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