They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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