Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
