Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
