God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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