Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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