thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
