I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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