if i died would you start the facebook group?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
