I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
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You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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