1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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