I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
