I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
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She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
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What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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