I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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