WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
