in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
