Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
