My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
