apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
