i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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