things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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