my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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