a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When did angry sex become our thing?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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