I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
