I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
