I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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