I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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