somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
