i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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