everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize