People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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