he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
