please come you make the beer taste better
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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