I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize