you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
