this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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