He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she looked like the before picture.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
