went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
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I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
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Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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