I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
