yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize