Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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