Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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