i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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