the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
