you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
BRING THE BAGELS
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
