the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
this beer tastes like vomit already
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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