My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
